Recently I went to my local record store and asked me if they had any obscure cast recordings - and the guy behind the counter pointed out the original London cast recording of "Always", a musical about the relationship between Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson. He said that the store had been unable to sell that album in twelve years, and every time someone listened to it on the premises, they invariably came away from the listening booth proclaiming it to be like the worst album evah.

I was sufficiently intrigued to part with my disposable cash and oh boy - it is bad, it is horrifically bad, mere words can not do justice to how incredibly awfully bad it is.

The songs on this recording are worse than all the songs from "Carrie: The Musical" and "Dracula: The Musical" that I listened to via YouTube. That's how terribly awful "Always" is.... it's enough to make one want to take back every bad word you've ever said about Andrew Lloyd Webber. All those who say that Webber epitomises everything that's wrong with musical theatre obviously haven't listened to this.

This is the kind of recording you listen to and you wonder how such material ever made it to the stage, let alone to a recording studio. The show apparently only ran for a few months in the West End - and I'm amazed that it even lasted that long.

The subject matter has the potential to be a very intriguing musical, but "Always" thoroughly whitewashes all the darker elements of the affair that would've made for very potent drama. For instance, there's nothing here to hint that either Edward or Wallis could've been nazi sympathisers and the show's treatment of their psychology is incredibly facile - they are both stuck in an emotionally adolescent state because they were never given enough attention during their childhood.... Edward in particular is depicted as a childlike innocent who was just too good and squeaky clean for this wicked wicked world - the Royals' intervention in his relationship is depicted as purely a case of antiquated morality, there is no political dimension to it at all.

All this might've worked simply on the level of a story were not for the fact that the songs are hilariously bad and the bridging narration (performed by Ian Richardson in a pretty blatant cheque cashing performance) is both clunky and fails to provide sufficient exposition for those unfamiliar with the stage show.

The lyrics are just hilariously awful, the most unintentionally laughable I've ever heard, here are just a few choice nuggets from the song "It's The Party Of The Year":

It's the party of the year
London's A List will be here
Don't make a fuss
For they're just like us
But they wear more fancy gear

Our party starts, we nick champagne
The bubbles go to our heads
We nick the chef's hors d'oeuvres
We're really well fed

Or this one from "Someone Special":

The whole night seemed more like a dream
It restored some lost self esteem
It got lost long ago
How and why, who's to know
But it's back and I won't let it go

Don't look that way at me mirror
For tonight is kept a promise you see
To be someone, someone special
That was mother's one dream for me

If you're watching, hope your proud
Trust in heaven bragging is allowed
For I'm feeling special
For the first time in years

To say that the score is syrupy would be the understatement of the year, two tonnes of sugar would be less sickly sweet than this musical.

What's worse is the blatant plagiarism going on... "Someone Special" blatantly rips off "You're A Queer One Julie Jordan" from "Carousel"... whereas "If Always Were A Place" sounds suspiciously like "Somewhere" from "West Side Story", but with the notes changed only just slightly enough to save from being sued.

Then there are the performances..... Clive Carter somehow manages to be even blander than Barry Manilow in the role of Edward VIII and Jan Hartley only registers in the mind when her accent slips... as if to compensate for this, most of the supporting cast ham it up like their lives depended upon it.

I think I'm going to donate this recording to my public library, that way other people can enjoy this as a historical curiosity/car-crash without having to pay for it.

Is anyone else here familiar with this sorry excuse for a musical? If so, would you care to share the pain of your experience?
Does this show have any defenders? If so, I'd be really interested to hear what they have to say, because as far as I can tell this show has no redeeming features whatsoever.

Well, you made me curious enough to look for some other reviews, and I found this one:

http://www.musical-theatre.net/html/rec ... lways.html

The subtitle on the CD is 'The Ultimate Love Story'. I laughed.

'Always' doesn't even have a wikipedia entry. That's the ultimate failure, in my opinion.

This makes Merrily look like Gypsey.

I am one of those rare people who actually saw this musical in the West End. You had to be quick to see it before it closed. It was a Tuesday afternoon and I was working in a shop in Harrow, which is a good 10 miles from the West End. A rather despondent girl walked in offering us free tickets to see 'Always', which we took, having not the faintest idea what it was about. It had such bad reviews and audiences were so small, that the management had resorted to giving out free tickets, but well away from the site of theatre itself. Despite this the theatre was near empty. They literally could not give tickets away free. And most of the people in the stalls were puzzled-looking tourists, the sort who had signed on to some cheap dinner-and-a-West-End-show deal from a devious tout. Still at least most of them couldn't understand the dialogue which would have been a blessing.
It was bad but it wasn't actually quite as bad as the reviews suggest, because it rarely became so awful that it became unintentionally funny. The best truly bad musicals are those which are stunningly bad in conception but executed with complete confidence. Knowing you are in flop is one thing, acting as if you are in a flop is a betrayal of your audience, even if they have got in free. The musical's defining feature was that it was unremittingly unmemorable, which is far worse than being memorably and grotesquely bad. I can't remember any of the songs, except for one performed next to a large merry-go-round which filled the stage. It stuck in the memory as it was performed by a young black singer who was the only person in the production who could sing. She seemed to committed to belting out a showstopper even with the worst of material. Perhaps I caught her on a good night. Unfortunately the confines of a musical set in royal circles in 1930s England didn't allow much scope for a black singer, which was a pity. It was her only number. Everyone else was completely forgettable.

The worst musical ever? Really?

I saw it when I was a wickle boy back in the 90's and I loved it. The story of Wallis Simpson has to be one of the greatest love stories in the history of the United Kingdom, a man gave up the throne for love and yes there are DARKER things that went on 'supposedly' but above all Always was about the romance of the story, the idea that you can love someone against the odds, against the wishes of everyone and still find happiness.

I think the original poster missed the irony in "Party of the Year" which was a sattire on high society of the time, where no secret was a secret and even the servants knew the ins and outs better than those playing the game.

The young black singer (Sheila Ferguson) sang "Love's Carousel", was great and to say she was the only great singer in Always really makes me wonder if you went to the same show I did, even on the CD The wonderful Jan Hartley is just velvet on the ears, from the title track down to "Invitation for Two".

Petula Clark mentioned that this was one of the great unsung musicals that should have lasted but the critics had their way, I suppose it suffered the same fate as Carrie The Musical in the US... when Critics ruled the world of theatre.

I loved it and still listen to the soundtrack today, with Madonna releasing W.E I fear it will pale in comparison to the delights of Always

Is it even worse than Pippin?

Oh, god. Definitely going to check this out. Bless OP for showing us this hilariously bad musical.

Pippin is Schwartz's only good show..its got a great score and a thoughtful premise. If I were to ask I'd ask if its worse than "Children of Eden" or 'Man of Magic".


btw..who starred in "Always"?

Clive Carter and Jan Hartley.

Here's Sheila Ferguson (for whom I do have a soft spot) doing her best with a number from the show:

Leave it alone... it's lovely!