The show seemed cursed.
The whole thing got re-cast because of certain emergencies, something of a game of musical roles.
And then Hero's voice died.

Yesterday I, a humble Protean, got a call from the director.
"I'm coming to rehearsal tonight."
"Yes, and you'll be coming to a lot more of them. You've been promoted. You're Hero."
... Wha?

Now, how does this work? I'm a girl, after all.
Well, I'll tell you.

The play begins with a sort of pantomimey bit, with everyone getting ready for the show. Suddenly, no one can find the actor playing Hero. The actor playing Hysterium whispers in Pseudolus' ear, and they panic. Pseudolous looks the other male actors up and down, looking for an understudy, and they all back away, not wanting to deal with it. Eventually, he looks down into the front row, and finds me, dressed as prettily and girlish as possible. He drags me up on stage, kicking and screaming, hands me a script and a costume, orders me off stage, and thus begins "Comedy Tonight."

I don't know how clear I am here, but I thought it was quite a clever solution. Because it's a farce and a play-within-a-play, it just seems to work.